my mistake

There was an incident happened lately that made me feel bad till now although that particular incident was not happen on me, but someone else who are close to me. I started to wonder whether I should be blamed,I could be the one who able to stop that undesirable incident.
Been trying to tell myself that incident won't ruin our relationship, as I never want something bad happen on them and I never even think about that. Unfortunately, it did, it really ruined our relationship. I can felt your awkwardness and uneasiness whenever I appeared in front of you and approached you even though I know you have no intention to do so, and I understand the feelings you're having now.
So here I am, decided to stay away from you, I mean as in temporary only, hoping that during this period you have time to manage your difficulties and feelings, live your life without feeling awkward and uneasy. Hopefully we able to hang out again in the future as what we used to do before this. Sincerely pray for you...

never live to hate

It was clear that he already walk out from her life
Without looking back at her, he walked thousands miles ahead of her
While she still stand on the same place
Picking up million pieces of the broken heart that fell all over the place, and trying to stick it back as a whole
She reluctant to move any further as she worry he will find her nowhere if he turn back and look for her
Even if she manage to fix every pieces of the broken heart, she know that the once broken heart will be much more easily to be break down if she get hurt
She truly fear that day will come again
She was glad that one of her dearest manage to drag her out from the madness
From that person, she now can really understand what's in a guy's mind of our age.
What they're wanted is a kind of freedom, and sadly, not a commitment
She decided to sail, without any regrets and burdens
She wanted to sail side by side with that person, although they're heading to different destination
At least they can save each other when big waves approaches
Life is actually not that bad though...
People should be live to concern each other, support each other, provide them warms whenever they're get cold
One should never live to hate, as the person who hate and the person been hated get hurt at the same time, it's lose-lose situation, and life will be harsh...

Good Luck Jaz...

I have such a healthy lifestyle in kl. Watching dramas and reading books seems to be my entertainments here which help me to spend through my leisure time. Talking about leisure time, Im actually do not have that much of time to spend for my entertainment, as when it comes to the end of the semester, assignments and projects started to burden me. But, I am still one the average student who start to do her work when the due date is around the corner.
My study of life is going to an end, very soon... Feel nervous and excited at the same time- nervous because I think that I am still not well prepared; excited because I am putting half of my feet to the next stage of life. It's time to join the work force and contribute to my family.
I have tonnes of dreams, which I wish I could achieve. As what I'd heard, everything starts from a dream. Doesn't matter if I walk alone through all the stages of life, because I know that I still have my family who will give me a full support in doing anything. Definitely it would be great if have someone who has in common with me to walk with me through the life. But, not now...
I had a lil' achievement few days back, and it was great that I received lots of compliments from others. But somehow, deep down in my heart...
I am trying so hard just to prove that even if I do not have the opportunity to study abroad like others, I am still able to reach a destination just like them, or even better destination. I appreciate everything I have now, I truly believe success is strongly depends on our own efforts. My family has supported me enough, and it's time for me to stand on my own feet. Love my family so much...(* including gal and hiro)

Nightmare

I was forcing myself get up from the bed this morning to attend early class. Can't really sleep well last night as something disturbed my good night sleep ~ Nightmare...
Suddenly I was trapped in a big house with huge staircases, alone...And it was during midnight, every corner of in the house is as dark as the night sky. I don't really understand why, the first alert comes to my mind was shut all the doors and windows tightly. So i was rushing through each floor to check on the windows and the doors as somehow I was so afraid of someone might come in.
By the time I rushed to the ground floor to check on the door lock, someone tried to twist the door lock with quite a huge force as the door had been locked. I was moving backward slowly...Then I was awake, such a relieve...
Bad dreams are hunting me this few days, all I ever wish is God can granted me some sweet dreams instead of bad dreams...

Sorry and Thanks...

It's been almost months of time after the "tragedy", kinda adapt to the life I have now although I am not really like it.
I am sorry to some friends who I do not connect with as I am sick and tired of giving fake smiles and laughs. Do give me sometimes... I am sorry.
I realized that, I am nobody to someone, but I am somebody to others. Honestly, I thought I might be happy, but this is not the result I get.
I was thinking to go far away from here to an isolated island for my internship, not only because I am a beach-lover but also I hope can runaway from those memories that I do not want to recall.
Those unwanted memories been keep on increasing since secondary, not only about relationship but also family.
Right now, I only can let the God to choose the path for me, either He wants me to stay here to face all those unwanted memories or let me a have peace of mind on the island. I am willing to accept either one of them, as each decision made by God, there's a reason underneath it.
There's another thing I found out is that, strong woman tend to end up alone, the truth is sometimes they are not as strong as you think, there are some hidden reasons why they behave very tough.
Special thanks to ting, jo, cathy and other friends who treat me sincerely...Thanks to you all so much...

Tenji

I was over excited on the day i went to Tenji Japanese Buffet with my coursemates. I can swear that, the place is my paradise...doubtlessly. Most of my friends thought that i am so rich that i am able to take my lunch in this kind of place, but honestly, it's not as what you guys thought! We went there during promotion period and special occasion as to celebrate my friend's birthday. Although it's still quite expensive after discounts, but it's worth and it was such a great experience.
Here's some of the pictures taken by me...

Stronger than yesterday...

You told me that you do not want to connect with me just because your life is sucks...I was wondering,what kind of reason is that?I thought people will turn to someone who they really trust or someone who can rely on,i mean someone who is special when they were trapped in a real big trouble,or even during normal daily life.
If you trully care for someone,would you put 100% of efforts to get his/her latest news?Would try your very best to reach him/her?My answer is YES for both of the questions.All of a sudden,you just walk away without informing me.I can't give any comment about the way you do things,because i can't expect the way you settle matters same as mine.But for me,this is call irresponsible,and i hate it.
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,it's alright because i like the way it burn.Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,it's alright because.....," a song sang by Rihanna,really touched me.Each time this kinda matter approach me,my brain will just keep recalling that sentence,"it's alright...it's alright...i can take it..." Never thought that the lyric in the song related to me.You were just stand over there and watch me collapsed,watch me cry...without doing anything.
But im gonna thank you,for everything...Day by day,im stronger than yesterday.

My Gal

My princess gal,how i wish she could recover from illness...
But i truly understand that she is old enough to come to an end in her life.
It's been almost 8 years she had accompany me to walk through every hard patch and faced every waves that strike on me.
From very old-looking gal when she first time entered my life,transform into gorgeous baby gal,and now turned into old and sick princess gal.
Although she didn't make any sound,but from her eyes,i can feel that she is suffering and feeling unwell.However,her eyes shows reliefs whenever i touch her...
She loses her ability to run and see,her body system started to lose control...
God...please let her leave in peace when the day comes,and send her to my grandpa side,so that they could be each other's companion.Take care of my grandpa,and my grandpa can continue to shower her with lots of love...

24/08/2010

It's half past 6pm,dragged myself out from my bed because it's the time to hunt for food although i did not feel any hunger at all,but i am sure my body need something to consume,no way i can let my body become weak, nobody can take care of me but myself...I've been carrying my recycle bag heading down to the shop beside the condo. Mixed rice always is the first choice i choose as my dinner, it's cheaper and faster than fastfood outlets. Then headed to Carrefour to buy some junk food in case i am craving for them when i watch the drama series. Cloud9 chocolate bars, cheezels biskitz and a full cream milk, nothing much to buy, because i've been thinking to ask mom buy more for me when i back to home, haha...such a brilliant idea to save up my money.
Ok...it's done...carrying my not so heavy recycle bag,walked back to my condo. Today was quite a nice weather though, i can feel the wind "kissing" my face...But then suddenly the smell of smoking and the smoke from the cars passing by approached me, eww...
Yea right...dinner with my lappy again...and having those not so tasty dinner. Gosh...miss home dishes.

Praying hard...

Hope everything goes as what i've planned... (*crossing my fingers and pray....)

I just wanted LIVE my life and rock my world.Thanks God.

creating her own universe

After being a fool for quite a long period, done countless of stupid things and dropped a river of tears, she started to understand, this is her life and nobody owes her, she is not suppose to expect others will give her happiness, instead, she need to create happiness by herself. She is the one who able to create her own universe.
Sometimes, life is undeniably harsh. But she truly believes that experiencing is the best way to make herself realize and bear in mind what are the things she should do and what she shouldn't do.
She started to realize, she already try her best and gave everything she could for some one who doesn't seems to appreciate everything she did for him. Instead of appreciating others, she thinks it's time she should appreciate herself. She had done enough...
There's a long long journey awaiting her to explore and do anything she wanted to...it's time to stand on her own feet and face the wonderful world ahead of her. She not live for some one, but she live for herself, creating her own universe, an universe which is full of colours and flowers, birds flying above the sky, ground covers with green grass...doesn't matter anymore if she walks alone.

my life of studying

July 2010- December 2010, this will be the last semester i am studying in University Malaya. Next semester will be my internship, which is the final semester for my 3 years course in Business Administration. My life study in UM is not as exciting as i expected when i had been inform by Jo Ann that i managed to enter UM in 2008. In university,i started to become more low profile,unlike the days i was in secondary. Now i started to understand the meaning people tends to pursue more stable life when they grown up.

I am lucky that i gained 2 good friends in UM, they also have quite similar of mindset and perspective with me ~ low profile. We are consider as very rare species of Homo sapien (human being) in UM, because we are surrounding by lots of "kiasu" students. Honestly, i have no idea how we could survive through these years.

However, this semester, i feel stress as the internship matter is approaching me. What irritates me is which company i should go for, from which company i could learn more, which company can provide me more working experiences...

As usual, i go back home very frequently although i am now in the third year of studying. In KL, the only entertainment for me is spending money, which is why i seldom go out. Home is the only place that i can seek for comfort and peace. I don't even need to go out to get entertainment in Malacca, because there are 2 dogs in my house who are my entertainers. At least when i see them, i know i am not facing the world alone, they are always there waving their tails to me. =)

my wrong thoughts

I thought,slowly you started understand me...but you're not
I thought you changed...but you're not
I thought i can share my problem with you...but you seems busy
I thought you care about my life...but you seldom ask about that
I thought things become better...but it's not after some period
I thought i could be stronger...but i still seems like a loser
I thought i don't need anybody...but i'm wrong,still i choose to be alone
The psychology test was right,i look calm from my appearance,but internally i'm sucks
Hopefully after this hard path,my body and even my mind will mutate,nothing can beat me down,not even a virus...

bad monday = (

As usual,monday morning i need to drive back to KL while fetching three of my funny coursemates along,we have to reach UM before 12pm as our class start at 12pm.
While i drove out from my house,omg...i 4gotten to bring my plants with me.I am a plant lover,each place i stay i must put some green plants in my room and also the living room,they make me feel refresh each morning.So,i must drive back to get them.
On the highway,my eyes lid was so heavy that it almost close my eyes,it cant be...because there were 4 lifes in my hand (*include me).i have to keep my eyes open widely.Wonder why today 3 of them seems very tired,slept from malacca toll until Sg Besi toll,because usually they talk a lot,which makes me feel awake during the 2 hours ride.
We reached UM at 11pm something,how punctual we were...Unfortunately,12pm class cancel!!! I just get the news while i was parking my car in the campus.My mood turned to bad then,IF i get the news ealier,i could sleep for another 2 hours,that 2 hours will helps me a lot in recovering my energy after sick.
I get out from car,open the car bonnet to carry out my laptop.Oouuchh!!!Something like nail sort of things from the speaker hurt my hand,leaving a long scar on my hand.I thought it's just a minor scratch,but slowly the blood flow out from the scar.* my pathetic hand....
Today class end at 7pm.Felt great that i can finally go back home to get some rest and take my dinner.But once my car reached SS2,gosh...the phenomena that i hate most in kl appear in front of my car - Traffic JAM!!! It took me almost 1 and a half hour to reach home,while usually only 15 minutes.
My appetite totally been ruined,so today's dinner was duck mee instant noodle,just to fill up my stomach.Then complete SOME of the tutorial questions,dramas is waiting for me next.
Hope tomorrow will be a good day for me...as bad day passed...cheer up!!!

thanks God

I am a special one who born in an incomplete and complicated family.I never blame the fate for putting me in this kinda environment,because i understand that there's meaning behind every obstacle we went through,and there's something we will learn from those obstacles.I am very please that i met some family members that really meant so much to me.Our bond grows stronger each time the wave approach us.Thanks the environment for building up my motivation, and cause me to think maturely and wisely.

I accept what God gives me,taste the bitter and appreciate the sweet things.Each person who hurt me once taught me a good lesson.I started to learn how to survive in this mean world,started to trust no one but myself. "We can't wholely blame those who hurt us,as we have to be responsible too;if we not really bother about what others say or how they react,we won't feel hurt;if we never expose ourself to dangerous situation,we won't get any wounds on our body."

The emotional might be swing frequently by living in this environment,I am on the half way learning how to deal with it,I am glad that each time the result is getting better to cope with my emotions.

A real man who once entered my life

My mouth curved upward and tears shedded at the same time each time i think you...I am so glad that God once sending you from above to be my guidance,i should say,the guidance for the whole big family.And i am understand that God have to take you away from us to send back above to contribute to t he world.thank you so much...i love you.

be someone who i respect

Feel a little bit dizzy today,hopes everything will be fine soon as there is a busy weekend ahead waiting for me.And i am really looking forward a busy weekend,it makes me feel energetic and alive.So that i won't have any chances or any moments to worry about something nonsense.

I am kinda person who won't hate one person for long time,because it makes me feel exhausted and miserable.I hope this is consider a good trait of mine.Hating someone really consume a lot of energy and even jeopardise our health...*this is the philosophy that i always believe.

"Action speaks louder than words," i hope whoever i've been forgiven can really appreciate chances that i gave them.Do something to show me what u really meant and stop giving me promises that you can't keep.That's all im asking,shouldn't be hard i suppose...

I respect a person who brave enough to admit his/her mistakes,learn from mistakes,being responsible and try his/her very best to correct what he/she had done wrong,that's what a successful person should do.Please do make me respect you...

Forgiving too soon

She started doubting if she forgiving too soon.

She choose to believe and keep holding her hopes although she's been hurt for numerous times and not giving up.

But now,she is exhausted and tired,because she was using too much energy in recovering her wounds.

She is such an idiot for not giving up unless she's been really really get hurt.

She's giving too much which always leads her to become a victim in a relationship.

She started to hide in bedroom more frequently.

She started to love staying alone.

She started to stop answering her friends' calls,sometimes.

She rather stay at home instead of giving those faking smiles when hang outs.

When she feels like dropping her tears,she will stick to her bed,because that's the only place can comfort her,so that she can use the pillow to cover her noise.

Sometimes,she don't even realise her tears dropped until she felt there's a drop of warm water rolling down her cheek.She hate herself for being uncontrollable to her emotions,she's a loser.

She can give up her dreams of building a stable relationship,but she will never ever give up her ambitions and her life goals.

She learnt that she should be selfish on the next time...no,no more next time,that's what she thought.She has it enough.

She was giving too much chances to the person,now its time to stop herself being too kind.

i hope i could be stronger...

I just realise that i wrote a lot recently.And there is only one reason...i can hardly express my feelings and my minds to anyone,im too worry that i might cause the listener feels irritating,so i write it down.These few days,too much bad emotions striking me.Sometimes i feel bad because my blog seems less story-telling about something happy.But at least my writing skill improved...*does this count as good news?

Right now,i really wish the school can start very soon,so that i can bury myself in the busy hell life,means there will be lesser time for me to think much of nonsense.

I just hate the way he treat me,doesn't seems to care...he's over-estimate my ability to cope with every problem,i can't blame him though as everyone think that way.Honestly,I feel secure when im not reveal much of my problem to anyone,i feel secure when others think im strong enough,but not for someone who is very important for me.I never ask much from him,only few words,can definitely comfort me.

However,i always bear in mind that,im not live for others,i shouldn't rely on anyone to move on my life.I have to face all the obstacles by myself,i need to be tough for myself.That's what i learn from all those experiences.

empty promises...

If a person broke all the promises he/she gaves you,are you still need to care about the promises between you and him/her?Actually,i keep holding tight my promises that i gave,trying to do my best out of it.But sometimes,disappointment shakes me...There's a sound in my mind keep telling me that don't be an idiot to keep those promises to people who don't cherish you,and we are not live to entertain others.
I wonder why i still care about it...it's not taste good to break the promises though,but why he/she can break it easily?Why they still living in those enjoyable life and moving on?There's a posibility that they don't care of us anymore.Promises means nothing...I feel bad if i have a mind of revenge,its not healthy,and i hate to have that mindset.
Why i still care?I should do whatever i wanted to,like what he/she did,right?Am i right?
But whatever i do,im clear of the limitation and the bottom line.

shocking news...

I was gossipping with my coursemates this afternoon after long time didn't chat during long semester break.Just found out that lots of things happened and changed.
This coursemate date with that coursemate,that coursemate together with this coursemate....while our reactions are "OMG,are u kidding me?How could that be...." "what??you serious?"...we were laughing through the whole conversation.
But there's a devastating news that i heard from them,this time is really shocking me...one of my male coursemate had committed suicide,the reason is remain unclear.When i read from the news,i just found out that he rented a car and drove to jungle area alone,then burning charcoal in the car.I wonder why he chosed to die,such a serious matter.All i could do now is,may him Rest In Peace...R.I.P

cutey boy

It's been few months i didn't visit this cutey boy,a son of my girl friend.The first time to be an aunt is so much excited and odd too,because someone will call me "AUNT" now...haha...I was a bit nervous on the way heading to my friend's house yesterday,as i was worrying that this cutey boy won't recognise me and will even cry after seeing me,because it's been quite long time didn't see him when he was few months old,now he is one year and eight months old.
When i reach her house,i saw cutey boy standing in the middle of the door way,looking strange at me.He was kinda a shy when he saw me,luckily he didn't cry...while her mommy kept asking him "call Yi Yi (aunt)...faster call Yi Yi...",but he didn't call me,he only keep giving those shyness smiles to me.So cute....
After few minutes,he started pick up a ball to play with me,and even talk with me with his baby language,haha...He likes to smile and laugh.I like his look when he laugh and showing off his baby teeths,because that look is making me laugh too...such a playful and cutey boy...
My friend is having a second baby now,hopefully this time is a baby girl... = )

a betrayal of trust

How's the feel of being betrayed by someone?
The mixture of all negative emotions will started master your mind and your heart
Anger,hatred,burning in the heart,breathing fire and brimstone...
Then,
Cold,emptiness and loneliness start to crawl up to your body from your feet
You will started asking yourself, "Am i done something wrong?", "Why he/she treated me that way?", "Did he/she really mean to hurt me,or he/she didn't mean to?"...
All kinds of questions keep recalling in your mind,over again and again...
Do you believe that a person who betrayed you once,will betray you twice?
Some say yes,some say no,i think mostly will say it's hard to forecast and it depends
For some people,only an idiot will be betrayed twice or even a number of times
While for some others,you've been betrayed twice for one reason,which is you treat people with all your heart without doubt,and you are kind enough for forgiving and giving people second chance.
If you ask me whether i choose to believe a betrayer for second time
I will say,yes...
Everyone deserve a second chance,with some solid reasons and regrets.
Am i an idiot? I have no idea...i just do something that i won't feel regret in the future

Midnight phobia

When the night is falling
The surrounding started to quiet down
When the time gets closer to 12am
I can hear my heartbeats,louder and louder when each minute passed
Then,feels like there's a minor earthquake in my mind when midnight is closer

Trying to distract myself doing something elses
Make myself busier
So that I can runaway from the feeling I do not like
Although just a little while...

When the time show past 12am
All the memories which buried under the deepest part of my mind
Sweet memories and also the bad one
Burst out to the surface of my mind
Like a volcano,it's beyond my control when it exploded
While the memories are like lava
Keep flowing out
I am losing control...

This midnight phobia is haunting me each night
What I hate most is...
Cleaning up the mess after the explotion
I need to flip through (*recall) every pieces of memory
Good one and bad one
Reorganize them before i put them back
In the deepest part of my mind

As what scientists said
There's no way we can stop the explotion of a volcano
That is why I can do nothing
But need to encounter it
Face it
Each midnight...

my companions...

my princess~ gal gal

naughty boy in the house~Hiro



Im so glad that god sending both of them into my life as my soul companions.They both capable to heal my wounds whenever i get hurt.When i reach home and saw them,my heart lighten,and my stress gone,even though it's not permanently gone...at least my mind can relax...watching them sleeping is an effective medicine to me to cure my sadness.

Learn to let go,is one of the chapter we should learn in life

As i growing up,i started to realise that people tend to enter and leave from my life unexpectedly,relatives,lover,friends or even pets.I am not only mean death and live,but also those who are important to me,living their own life without involving me.
22 years of living in this world,i expect myself can cope with this real life "tragedy".I called it as "tragedy" because it is devastating when someone who is not a passer-by,but someone who is a piece of your life started to walk out from your life.That doesn't feel good...It seems that i am over expect my ability to cope with these tragedies when they come to me together.I still have a lot to learn,i've just learnt part of the chapter.
Maybe my grandfather really gave me a huge impact on my emotions after he leave this year,he was leaving to another world.A world where i hope full of happiness and peaceful,a world where he love to stay and waiting us to meet him,someday...I have these several important man in my life,but he is the most important,no one can beat him.He is the best man i've ever met,taking care of his grandchildren like a father does.Always called us to go back his house,because he missed us so much,wanted to see us.For him,nothing can be more important than families.When things not going well,he dropped his tears silently when nobody noticed,but my sister saw it,accidentally...He suffered too much before he'd leave from this world.Tears rolling in my eyes whenever i think of him.Miss him too much.But i should learn to let go and move on.
Now,another man is leaving...he is leaving from my life to live his own.Although he did not mention,or even not realising it,but his actions already proved that he is leaving slowly,from my life.That is why i choosed to give up before thing gets worse.At least i apply what i learnt from secondary,"to let it go..."
Each time when i saw ah gal,my doggy,my heart sunked again and again.She is getting older and older,walking slower and slower.She can hardly run now,she can't see anything either,that's why she wont walk any far if nobody besides her,she needs me,she needs us.I can't imagine the day she leave me...

Scent of Tulips

I have this special feeling toward tulip flowers when i first learnt this species of flower. It gives people some kind of mysteries feeling and curiosity as it won't bloom widely as other species of flowers,people can't easily see clearly what is inside the tulips even during the maturity period. That's why i love them as they seem very similar with my characteristics. Unfortunately,i can hardly see any of them in asian countries,i think only quite low number florists sell tulips in the market as the carrying costs is higher and the flowers can't last longer in tropica countries. That is why i wish i could travel to Holland,a place where millions and millions of tulips bloom together during spring.






A purple tulips symbolizes the future can be better and tomorrow brings another new day.Hopes for the future help us go through the rough time so that we can grow and experience more love,peace and joy.It also means dignity,pride and success.



Yellow tulips representing hopeless love,or even cheerful thoughts and sunshine.







White colour tulips symbolize Royalty...





Red tulips associated with true love,declaration of love.

Smells that make me happy

1. Clean sheets
2. Vanilla
3. Fresh flowers
4. Fresh ground coffee
5. Smell of my doggies after shower
6. His perfume
7. Freshly baked cakes and breads
8. Smell of clean beach

she decided to leave

She decided to leave...
After a month of fighting,crying and begging
She started to stay calm and think properly
She hold her handphone and dialled his number
He still seems like avoiding her after heard her voice that he didn't heard of for ages
She insist to talk,because she can't stand the mess between them anymore
She wants to make things clear

She felt so much relieve that at least he started to listen to her
Listen what's in her mind,what she feels and what she wanted to do
She decided to take one step backward in the relationship
She wants to make him as a friend,not a person she hate
Because he mean so much for her

She believe that this is the best solution for both of them
So that he can do whatever he wanted to without feeling any burden and sorry to her
Besides,she wants to move on
She doesn't want to keep struggling in the mess of their relationship
She has so much goals to achieve in her life
She is just so proud of her for being strong and rational
Anyway,she feel grateful for a person who dragged her back on track when she lost

She still cares for him...

a story about her......(part3)

She blame him for why he spend time on facebook rather than chat with her.She blame him for contact less with her.She blame him why he didn't reply her message but able to reply others.She blame him for seldom skype with her.
He started to blame her why she is being so controllable on the time spend in play online.He blame her why she is not understanding that he is staying in sharing room,can't chat through skype with her.
After all those blaming games,she feel tired,she feel weak and exhausted.She don't even expect to talk with him through skype,because she just wanted to see his face that she missed,but they can chat through typing messages.What makes her shocked was that,he said to her if they need to chat in that way,why not they just chat through msn.He does not even realise she wanting to see him so much.She felt he was not care of seeing her face.
She believe that love is not enough in keeping two person together,but efforts and commitments do.The more efforts she putting in,the more annoying she was,for him.Therefore,she decided to stop giving him messages,giving him more time to deal with his works.In return,he also doesn't give her any messages.Now,she seems out of ideas if there is any way to fix it.

a story about her.....(part2)

She learnt from experience not to give up easily in a relationship.She decided to put in her whole heart and efforts in maintaining the relationship this time,she understand anything can happen unexpectedly,but she believe that if anything bad happen,she wont feel regret as she already try to do her very best for him.
Worrieness started to master her heart and her mind,she seems a bit out of control after he leave,until she received his first call from oversea.She felt so much relieve,and she told herself that she is definitely ready to be in a long distance relationship,she is so much prepared.
He gave her a short call each day,they tried to contact as much as they can.But then his life started to be busy,he called her less and they chat even less.She thought that even if he can't call,she can call him.There she goes,went to buy italk card,wishing she can hear his voice.After she dialled him,the conversation didn't end up so well,she felt so frustating towards his words.He seems not really want to chat with her that time as he was with his friends.From that moment,she call him less because she does not want to make him feel awkward infront of his friends.
This year,she had the most unforgetable valentine's day and anniversary with him.Unfortunately,those days are not the happiest moment,instead,is the most heart-breaking moment for her.She can't even manage to connect with him during valentines,she can do nothing but just make sure her computer is on beside her bed while she take a little nap.She's been waiting until 6am in the morning,although that special occassion was count as past,but she was waiting.Same thing goes to anniversary,but at least she manage to wish him happy anniversary through the phone.He apologized to her,but he does not realise that deep down in her heart,is bleeding.
Slowly,she became an annoying and irritating person,she started to blame him for not spending much time with her.He hope her can understand that he was busy with his works and projects.But she started to lose understanding and patient.

a story about her.......(part1)

A girl,after all this while she kept everything to herself without telling anyone,because she is a girl who not used to express her feelings or problems in front of others.But things that she doesn't wish to occur,just occured again and again.She told me that if she doesn't throw out everything she keep inside her pumping bloody heart,her heart will explode sooner or later.Therefore,she decided to tell me everything about her and her man.
She is a girl who taught to be tough and independent since childhood,which is why she try to settle everything by herself.After they started to be together,he ask her to try to learn to rely on him and stick with him much more often as he said that that's what a couple do,sharing every problem and stick together.
Things going so well until one day he decided to build his career oversea,go to a place he wanted to travel to.She didn't stop him from going abroad even though she knows she will be a bit lost without him,but instead,she support him in every decision he made.Because she believe that one shouldn't stop other from achieving their goals or dreams unless it is illegal,as she also has her own ambition that she wish to achieve in the future.He promised her,no matter how hard it is,they able to go through this obstacle together,he promised her,he will put much efforts in keeping in touch with her.She trusts him so much,she never knew a promise can be easily forgotten and can be easily break.
.........................................*to be continue

"love knows no borders"

I had read this article entitled "love knows no borders" written by Dora Cheok in Readers' Digest.The title really catched my eyes as I flip through the book once I bought it home.I am definitely agree with the statement.A person from north might falling for a person from south of the world,even though they are different in culture,language,skin and outlook,some even ignore the gender issue.Love is just present without anyone can really realize it in the first place where they meet.Love is something that can hardly explain by anyone,it's an attraction that bond between two people.
There are two kinds of people,there are some people who fall in love easily,on the other hand,there are some people who can hardly fall for someone.For me,when two person can fall in love with each other,it is the most wonderful thing ever happen in their life time.There are a huge number of people in this world,it is a gift from God that we able to meet a person we love so much.Some struggling seach for the love one for their entire life.
But rainbow does not appear in the sky all the time,storms and lighting can take place too.The most challenging part of the relationship is how to maintain the passion between two person.A piece of a relationship is missing without passion.Even there are trusts,things in common between lovers,without passion,a relationship started to walk to an end,dullness started to cover up the happiness of two person's relationship.
People,please appreciate the one you love.Don't give up easily,but instead,try your best to make things happen.It's not that it all depends on our fate and God,sometimes,people create their own world,not anybody else.

WareHouse sale!!!

i hate KL,hate traffic congestion,hate the expenses,the air and noises...the only thing i like here is there's warehouse sale from time to time...lol...last few weeks i just spend around 200 bucks on it.kinda worth though as i manage to get 1 piece of roxy dress,morgan blouse,roxy top and also billabong blouse.it's been a while i didnt experience so much satisfaction,but now.....I AM....hahaha...special "thanks" to my two coursemates who planned and brought me there,such a "great" friends to encourage me to spend.however,they also cant stand the lust the buy the cheap clothes there,haha...good one...they deserve it.(sorry girls :-p )
i was so surprise that the same particular warehouse sale comes to malacca too...i was shocked after told by my sister.as i never heard have this kind of activities in malacca.definitely,i cant miss it.but this time,i promised to myself that i wont spend on any clothes anymore,so my role is just be a companion for a shopper,my sister.i felt glad that the clothes there are those same with what i saw in KL warehouse sale last time....*pheewww...what a relieve.this is such a great opportunity to malaccan citizens,because this is the only time where they can buy branded and quality clothes with cheap prices.

Craving for mOvi3sss...

i had once addicted to watch movies when someone were here as i always have him as my companion.but now i need to make sure im off from this addiction because it wil only leads me to tiredness to search for a partner to watch movies with me.sometimes i have this odd idea in my mind..."maybe i can go to watch movies by myself,yeah right...just me,alone....".but when i think of people will give me those weird glare at me,i will just say,"lets just forget it..."

there it goes...i had come out with this wonderful idea for myself.the next time when i crave for movies,i will just buy the dvds,play it at home,lying on the coach and with a cup of beer or wine plus my favourite snacks.definitely there will be a companion with me at home,my lil' princess doggy...isn't it great?!
gosh...there will be lots of great movies on screen in May!!!gonna save some pocket money to buy the movies.*cant miss IP Man2,such a great action movie.