my wrong thoughts

I thought,slowly you started understand me...but you're not
I thought you changed...but you're not
I thought i can share my problem with you...but you seems busy
I thought you care about my life...but you seldom ask about that
I thought things become better...but it's not after some period
I thought i could be stronger...but i still seems like a loser
I thought i don't need anybody...but i'm wrong,still i choose to be alone
The psychology test was right,i look calm from my appearance,but internally i'm sucks
Hopefully after this hard path,my body and even my mind will mutate,nothing can beat me down,not even a virus...

bad monday = (

As usual,monday morning i need to drive back to KL while fetching three of my funny coursemates along,we have to reach UM before 12pm as our class start at 12pm.
While i drove out from my house,omg...i 4gotten to bring my plants with me.I am a plant lover,each place i stay i must put some green plants in my room and also the living room,they make me feel refresh each morning.So,i must drive back to get them.
On the highway,my eyes lid was so heavy that it almost close my eyes,it cant be...because there were 4 lifes in my hand (*include me).i have to keep my eyes open widely.Wonder why today 3 of them seems very tired,slept from malacca toll until Sg Besi toll,because usually they talk a lot,which makes me feel awake during the 2 hours ride.
We reached UM at 11pm something,how punctual we were...Unfortunately,12pm class cancel!!! I just get the news while i was parking my car in the campus.My mood turned to bad then,IF i get the news ealier,i could sleep for another 2 hours,that 2 hours will helps me a lot in recovering my energy after sick.
I get out from car,open the car bonnet to carry out my laptop.Oouuchh!!!Something like nail sort of things from the speaker hurt my hand,leaving a long scar on my hand.I thought it's just a minor scratch,but slowly the blood flow out from the scar.* my pathetic hand....
Today class end at 7pm.Felt great that i can finally go back home to get some rest and take my dinner.But once my car reached SS2,gosh...the phenomena that i hate most in kl appear in front of my car - Traffic JAM!!! It took me almost 1 and a half hour to reach home,while usually only 15 minutes.
My appetite totally been ruined,so today's dinner was duck mee instant noodle,just to fill up my stomach.Then complete SOME of the tutorial questions,dramas is waiting for me next.
Hope tomorrow will be a good day for me...as bad day passed...cheer up!!!

thanks God

I am a special one who born in an incomplete and complicated family.I never blame the fate for putting me in this kinda environment,because i understand that there's meaning behind every obstacle we went through,and there's something we will learn from those obstacles.I am very please that i met some family members that really meant so much to me.Our bond grows stronger each time the wave approach us.Thanks the environment for building up my motivation, and cause me to think maturely and wisely.

I accept what God gives me,taste the bitter and appreciate the sweet things.Each person who hurt me once taught me a good lesson.I started to learn how to survive in this mean world,started to trust no one but myself. "We can't wholely blame those who hurt us,as we have to be responsible too;if we not really bother about what others say or how they react,we won't feel hurt;if we never expose ourself to dangerous situation,we won't get any wounds on our body."

The emotional might be swing frequently by living in this environment,I am on the half way learning how to deal with it,I am glad that each time the result is getting better to cope with my emotions.

A real man who once entered my life

My mouth curved upward and tears shedded at the same time each time i think you...I am so glad that God once sending you from above to be my guidance,i should say,the guidance for the whole big family.And i am understand that God have to take you away from us to send back above to contribute to t he world.thank you so much...i love you.

be someone who i respect

Feel a little bit dizzy today,hopes everything will be fine soon as there is a busy weekend ahead waiting for me.And i am really looking forward a busy weekend,it makes me feel energetic and alive.So that i won't have any chances or any moments to worry about something nonsense.

I am kinda person who won't hate one person for long time,because it makes me feel exhausted and miserable.I hope this is consider a good trait of mine.Hating someone really consume a lot of energy and even jeopardise our health...*this is the philosophy that i always believe.

"Action speaks louder than words," i hope whoever i've been forgiven can really appreciate chances that i gave them.Do something to show me what u really meant and stop giving me promises that you can't keep.That's all im asking,shouldn't be hard i suppose...

I respect a person who brave enough to admit his/her mistakes,learn from mistakes,being responsible and try his/her very best to correct what he/she had done wrong,that's what a successful person should do.Please do make me respect you...